Facepocalypse Now: How to delete your Facebook account forever

May 14, 2010 - By Justin E. Gehrke

A review of this morning’s technology news included the discovery of several articles, which indicated that many (though no one specifies exactly how many) Facebook users were digging through the catacombs of the Facebook Help Section to find out how they could delete their Facebook accounts. As a techie person, I automatically assumed that it couldn’t really be that hard. So, using an old account, I set out to see if I could achieve the ultimate coup de grâce…the complete destruction of a Facebook account.

So, in true Captain Benjamin Willard, Apocalypse Now-style, I streaked on some warpaint and set out to take down the Facebook account, which like the infamous Colonel Kurtz, had started out upright and noble but ultimately degenerated into a crazed, privacy-killing lunatic. Well, despite the dramatic build-up I may have given it, the reality was far less exciting. Deactivating and deleting a Facebook account do not require a Doctorate in Particle Physics, but you do have to pay attention. As always, the devil is in the details. So, buckle up. Pay attention, and, whatever you do, don’t log back into Facebook, when you’re done.

How to deactivate your Facebook account

The first option available is account deactivation. This is recommended for people who may be upset about the current round of Facebook changes but remain hopeful that the Facebook Gods will recognize the error of their ways. Deactivating your account will simply turn it off. Supposedly, everything associated with it, to include apps, groups, etc. is turned off. What do your friends see? Do you just disappear? Good question. Please let us know the answer if you do decide to go this route.

• After logging into Facebook, navigate to the Account Settings menu and click on “deactivate”

• Here, Facebook requires you to give a reason. Hmm…I wonder what the choice will be?

• Facebook is then kind enough to remind you that you have total control over your privacy.

• To continue, you must enter your password. This is obviously to avoid someone else from securing your privacy.

• To ensure a robot is not trying to secure your privacy, you must then type in the illegible Captcha words.

• Once the deactivation process completes successfully, you are returned to the login screen and shown a message saying that you are already missed.

Here’s where the trick comes in. If you log back into your Facebook account, it will automatically reactivate it. Deactivating and logging back in revealed that the previously existing friends, apps, and, most importantly, privacy settings were retained. So, if you do decide to go back in when and if Facebook institutes changes more favorable to the user, you can reactivate and resume poking people.



How to deactivate your Facebook account

The secondary and permanent option is to delete your Facebook account, altogether. This is recommended only for those people who are really irked by the platform’s move to make you part of the social graph. It is permanent, but, again, there is a bit of a trick involved to make sure it sticks. Again, paying attention to the details is key to really removing yourself from everyone’s wall forever.

• After logging into Facebook, you have two options. You can navigate to the Help Center by clicking on “Account” and then “Help Center”. You will be directed to the main Help Center page. Once there, you can search for help using the query below. My results listed it as the sixth option. Since search results are supposed to be based on the terms include, one has to wonder why it wasn’t the first option. At any rate, you are provided with the explanation. From here, simply click on the link “here” link in the sentence “…submit your request by clicking here.”

• Alternatively and to avoid unnecessary navigation, users can also log into Facebook and paste the following URL into your browser’s address bar: http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=13016 – This will take you directly to the “How do I permanently delete my account?” post. You have to give Facebook credit. At least they did permalink the post. That has to count for something.

• First, you’ll be directed to a screen that reminds you of the earth-shattering implications of deleting your Facebook account. Your settings, pictures, links, and, most importantly, your friends will be gone forever. Your Farmville barn, crops, and livestock will be burnt to the ground. Thusly, it is very important that you have carefully weighed the implications of your decision.
• Once you’re sure (Are you really, really sure?), just click on the “Submit” button to initiate the destruction sequence.

• The next screen contains big, bold, red letters. This means you should pay attention. Facebook is reminding you that the deletion of your account is the equivalent of blowing up the Death Star. Do you really want to destroy such a fine piece of craftsmanship that was built on the sweat of thousands of social platform developers. If you are ready (Are you really, really ready?), enter your password and the illegible Captcha words and click “Okay”. This time, the destruction sequence really is initiated.

• You will once again be presented with a warning, indicating your account will permanently deleted within 14 days. This is your last chance, to avoid being erased from the minds of you 431 Facebook friends. If you certain (Are you really, really certain?), click “Okay”.

• You will then be redirected to the Facebook login page. Your account will be deleted, within 14 days. Remember not to log back in “just to check” because you’ll be tempted by Facebook to reactivate your account. Then again, there’s no one watching so you can reactivate without guilt if you find you just can’t live without pulling off another jewelry heist in the land of Mafia Wars.

What do you do now? How do you live without Facebook?

Congratulations. You’ve done it. Like Jason Bourne, you no longer exist in the world of Facebook. You are off the grid and free. Though, to really complete the scenario, you would have to stop tweeting, tumbling, or checking in to become the mayor of Starbucks. These all require their own tutorials, which perhaps we can cover later.

Now, your pre-Facebook world has been reanimated. Your options are limitless. Grab a duffle bag. Throw in your passport, some clean underwear, and a toothbrush. You’re all set to reenter the real world and socialize with others. Go to the mall. Take a walk in the park. Talk to your wife, husband, or significant other. Whatever you do, though, don’t…under any circumstance…or regardless of the peer pressure you may receive…log back in.

Note: This quasi-How To article is intended to help those people who do decide to delete their Facebook accounts. The theatrical references, bad Photoshop and smart remarks are intended only to remind people that social networking and the use of associated tools and platforms is a choice. If you want total privacy, don’t use any of them. If you do choose to use them, carefully consider what and how much information you are prepared to share. Ultimately, using the internet in general negates any claim you may assert regarding a reasonable expectation of privacy. There are no enforceable, nationally or internationally-established standards to protect you or your information. The internet may not be forever, but it will most likely outlive all of us who are reading this now.